FERAL REMEMBERING
Thirteen Moons of Embodied Gathering
Thirteen women. Eight immersions. One year long enough to actually change.
Join the WaitlistThis isn’t a retreat.
You may or may not have been to a retreat. They typically last a couple of days to a week, you connect, you cry, you laugh, it feels amazing.
Then you fly or drive home. The sensation of connecting is carried in your body for a week, maybe two, glowing a little, different in a way you can feel but can’t quite name to the people who didn’t go. And then the random Tuesday happens. Things begin to go back to “normal.” Life begins to happen with the grocery list, things demanding your attention, and the thousand small demands of a life that was never built to hold what you touched out there. And slowly, quietly, without ever deciding to let it go, you let it go.
This isn’t that.
This is a year. Long enough for something to actually root, not just visit.
You know something is wrong. You’ve known for years.
Your blood work comes back normal and you still feel like your body is at war with you.
You’ve done the therapy, the yoga, the supplements, the morning routine, and you still wake up at 3am with your heart pounding for no reason you can name.
You’ve cried at things that seemed disproportionate to the people around you, a documentary, a walk in the woods, a full moon, and quietly wondered if something was wrong with you.
Nothing is wrong with you. You are not broken. You were severed, and your body has been telling you the truth about it this whole time.
What actually changes with Feral Remembering?
Not more information. You have a bookshelf full of information.
What changes this is remembering. This is not about intellectually doing another thing. This is about being in your body, on land, with other women who are done pretending they’re fine too. Not once, in a single weekend. Allowing this to unravel, root, and remember across a full year, held by a rhythm older than anything we have available in a typical retreat space.We will be utilizing eight gatherings turning with the spiral of the year, thirteen moons carrying us between them.
The shape of the year
Thirteen women move through this year on the land. Not an accident that it matches the thirteen moons, this circle is built the same way the year turns. We will move through the 8 seasonal shifts of the Spiral of the Year, meeting physically to practice, be seen, heard, and create intimacy. Then we will gather virtually each new moon and full moon, to expand upon our understandings, diving deeper into the practices of ancient knowing and skills.
The Womb
Eight immersions, moving with the spiral of the year, from arrival and ground, through descent and grief, into relationship, integration, and the living. Shifting into our feral intuition, remembering our ancestral being, and remembering our most authentic, whole selves.
Thirteen moons. Between each immersion, we carry the work forward together, marking each moon; new and full, tending what got opened at the last gathering, so the container never actually closes even when we are not physically together.
The Earthen Wombs
These are a work in progress. I would love help building these if you are wanting to help physically move earth to build the Womb in which we will be making this work happen.
The Earthen Wombs are structures built into the earth itself, by hand, made to hold women the way the ground has always held everything that mattered, close, dark, warm, low enough to remember you came from soil. This is where The Womb circle gathers for descent, for the nights that ask the most of you. This is a space built specifically so this work would have somewhere real to happen. Somewhere that can hold the feral while healing us too.
This is for you if:
- You’ve already done the work, therapy, somatic practice, read the self help books, and you’re still searching.
- You’re tired of optimizing. Tired of one more protocol, one more supplement stack, promising to fix a wound that was never yours alone to carry.
- You’re exhausted by your own self-sufficiency, and you’re ready to be witnessed instead of doing it all.
- You’re willing to sit in the dark, get your hands in the dirt, be uncomfortable, and stay.
- Some part of you already senses that the life on the other side of this might look nothing like the one you’re living now, and instead of that frightening you, you are open to the shifts and experiences waiting on the other side.
This is not for you if
- You’re still looking outside yourself for the fix, the next procedure, the next purchase, the next surface correction to buy your way back into feeling acceptable in a body that was never the problem.
- You want a nice weekend and a nice photo from it, not a real unraveling.
- You need your current life, the career ladder, the appearance maintenance, the status, to stay fully intact around this work. This asks structures to move, not just one more practice added on top of an unchanged life.
- You’re looking for information. You already have the book for that. This is not that.
The investment
This is a year-long container, that will ask you to shift into a version of yourself you may have only glimpsed. There is an aspect of the version of you that will no longer fit into the boxes you are have created. By signing up you are accepting that your feral remembering is calling.
The Womb: 8 Physical Immersive 3-5 Day Experiential Events
Cost: $3,333
All meals, shelter, and activities are covered in this price. Full Moon and New Moon virtual gatherings are included in this price, as well as a private group to discuss in between sessions. You are one of 13 women physically experiencing this shift together. This is a foundational part of the medicine. To remember what it felt like to be held by other women, in a space of vulnerability, trust and collaboration.
About Your Guide
My unraveling started more than twenty years ago, in a classroom, of all places. A Christian college, every Bible class I could take, and then the next year, world religions, women’s and gender studies, the floor quietly giving way under everything I’d been handed as fact. I kept going. A bachelor’s in psychology. A doctorate in metaphysical science. Credentials that taught me how these systems are built, and how thoroughly they can be taken apart.
But the real unraveling didn’t happen in a classroom. It happened in my body.
My first child was born at home with a midwife. My second, I caught myself, unassisted, in a bathtub, no one’s hands but mine and my husband’s. There is no seminar that teaches you what your body already knows how to do the moment you stop asking permission for it. I nursed them both for years, co-slept, practiced elimination communication instead of trusting a plastic training system to know my babies better than I did. Every one of those choices was a small refusal, a stepping back from a system that profits from women believing their bodies need managing.
From 2018 to 2023, my husband, my children, and I lived on the road, on and off, in a bus, learning what a family actually needs versus what we’d been sold we needed. In the seasons we weren’t traveling, we built our home by hand, an earthbag house on our own land in southeast Missouri, growing food, building the kind of foodscape that doesn’t ask permission from a grocery store. I’ve practiced herbal medicine for over thirteen years, and it has been how I’ve provided for my family, in full, since 2019.
I believe our bodies have gone off the course of our own evolution, chasing money and status and the need to feel successful while the body itself screams to be let out of captivity. I don’t believe the answer is rejecting every modern convenience, I use the technology that will help build the communities we’re actually going to need. I believe the answer is remembering. I celebrate the turn of the seasons, the spiral of the year, as a way of honoring my place inside nature rather than above it.
I have spent my entire adult life deconstructing the programs, beliefs, and hierarchies I was handed, and I have not arrived anywhere final. I am still practicing my own feral remembering. I am not asking you to follow someone who has it finished. I’m asking you to walk a year with someone still walking it herself.
Questions
Why a year instead of a retreat?
Because a weekend gives you a feeling. A year gives you a rhythm you can actually live inside.
What if I can’t make every immersion?
Personal Sessions are available if you can’t make the group rates, these are an additional investment.
Is this religious or spiritual?
No. This is not about transcending your body. This is about remembering you never needed to.This is drawing back into the sacred, which is about connection, not worship, not hierarchy.
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