Category: Uncategorized

May 15 – May 27, 2026

The Stars

Gamma Librae · Zubenelhakrabi

RA 15h 35m 31s Dec −14° 47′ 22″ ~163 light-years Magnitude 3.91 Spectral Type G8.5 III

Graffias · Beta Scorpii

RA 16h 05m 26s Dec −19° 48′ 19″ ~400 light-years Magnitude 2.62 Spectral Type B1 V

Two stars in the same slice of sky. One is ancient, expanded, nearly still, presenting as a yellow giant that has been radiating warmth for 4.3 billion years, grown to eleven times the Sun’s diameter, slowed almost to a stop, and is now orbited by two planets it accumulated over that span of time. The other is barely born. Six to eleven million years old. Burning at 26,000 Kelvin. Not two stars but five or six, what looks like a pair through a small telescope is a hierarchy of orbiting components, the innermost pair so close they complete an orbit every 6.8 days, closer together than Mercury is to our Sun. Both are headed toward supernova, a violent explosion. Both are on the road near the ecliptic, where the Moon passes over them.

Gamma Librae has nearly stopped spinning. Its rotational velocity is 1.60 km/s, which is a whisper. It expanded as it aged, used what it had, grew enormous and luminous, and now moves with the unhurried authority of something that has been here a very long time. It hosts two confirmed gas giant planets, discovered in 2018, orbiting a star that was already ancient when Earth’s first complex life appeared.

Graffias is the opposite. Six million years old in a universe 13.8 billion years old is not even a breath. The most massive component burns with the luminosity of 19,500 Suns. The whole system is in motion, multiple, hierarchical, structured in pairs within pairs, yet seen as simple from a distance, reveals layered and complex, the closer you look. It will not live long. Stars that burn this fast and this hot do not last. They end in explosion.

One ancient and still. One young and violently multiple. Both in the same sky, this same two weeks, asking to be looked at directly.

Four Thousand Years of Observation

The Arabic, Indian, and Chinese lunar mansion systems each divide the sky into 28 sanctuaries, with independent systems developed across separate cultures over thousands of years. They do not share origin. They arrived at their frameworks through their own accumulated observation of how the sky moves and what it correlates with on Earth.

In every one of these systems, certain lunar mansions carry grave warnings about romantic relationships. Specific temples marked as difficult, inauspicious, clarifying, particularly for marriage and partnership. These warnings were not decorative. They were recorded because enough people, across enough generations, saw the pattern repeat.

What Is Arriving This Week

Every woman I talk to in this sanctuary has shared of their relationships being in the fire this week. Not all of them newly, some have been carrying this for years. But the clarity is new. The seeing is new. Something in this sky is pulling the mask off and leaving it on the floor.

There is a particular kind of grief that arrives when you realize you have been eating scraps and calling it a full meal. When you understand, with a completeness you cannot unfeel, that despite being a mother, a lover, a best friend, a source of unconditional love, it was never fully reciprocated. That the love moved mostly in one direction. That your care was received as a given rather than a gift.

The horror of that lands. And then, strangely, it passes into something quieter. Not rage. Not collapse. A neutrality. The mask comes off the masculine and what arrives in us is not a wail but a clear, level gaze.

We just see it. All of it. With the kind of clarity that does not require emotion to hold.

What the Clarity Shows

We see so clearly why men are in a loneliness epidemic. We see so clearly why women are leaving marriages at rates that continue to accelerate. We see so clearly why women are choosing not to have children. We see why the masculine has been raging for ten thousand years: the temper tantrums, the lack of emotional regulation, the juvenile demand to be managed and soothed , and why we have been accommodating it, and why we are done.

There are millions of women in this right now. Not just the women in my circle. Not just women in this country. Globally, women are waking up to the same recognition: that their marriages were structured for the benefit of the man. That the energy of their male partners has been more draining than sustaining. That the focus of the home was placed on the comfort and emotional whims of the adult male rather than on the emotional development of the children.

And the women who redirected that, who chose their children’s emotional intelligence over adult male tantrums, who built matriarchy in their homes by making emotional health the organizing principle, are seeing this magnified right now. What they built is visible. What it produces is visible.

The divine feminine is not in distress this week. It is in clarity. That is a different thing entirely.

The Mirror in the Sky

Gamma Librae has been giving out warmth for 4.3 billion years. It expanded. It slowed. It is enormous and still and luminous and it has two planets in orbit around it. It has been sustaining long enough that worlds formed in its gravity. It does not need to burn fast to matter. It does not need to explode to be significant.

Graffias burns at 26,000 Kelvin. It is multiple beyond what the naked eye can see. A complexity hidden inside what looks, from a distance, like simplicity. And it will end in supernova. Stars that consume themselves at that rate, that refuse to regulate the burn, do not last. They are spectacular. They are also brief.

This sanctuary holds both. The ancient steady warmth that accumulated worlds, and the violent brightness that cannot sustain itself. The sky is not subtle this week about what it is showing us.

We can use this. The clarity this sanctuary delivers is not punishment. It is information. It is the same information that Arabic and Indian and Chinese sky-watchers were writing down four thousand years ago. It is the same pattern. It is available right now, in this two-week window, to do something with.

Build what you desire. Let this sanctuary be what it is, not something to endure, but a tool. The Earth will move out of this slice of sky on May 27. What you do with what you see before then is yours.

The Potential Energy of This Sanctuary

A supernova is the most energetic event in the observable universe. It is not simply destruction. It is the mechanism by which everything locked inside a star, every heavy element forged over millions of years of burning, gets released and dispersed through space. The iron in your blood came from a star that exploded. The calcium in your bones. The oxygen you are breathing. None of it exists without the violence of stellar death.

Difficult and destructive are not the same as without power. The four thousand years of sky-watchers who marked this sanctuary with warnings were noting something real. They were not wrong. But they were describing the force of it.

What has been burning in you, quietly, for years, sustaining, giving, absorbing, holding, has been forging something. The clarity that arrives in this sanctuary is not the end of that. It is the release of it. What was locked inside one system becomes available to everything around it. That is what a supernova does. That is what this moment is doing.

The warnings across Arabic, Indian, and Chinese systems were written by people who understood that this slice of sky carries enormous charge. They were right. The charge is real. What you do with it, whether you collapse under the weight of what you now see, or whether you let the explosion scatter what you have been forging into the world around you, that is the work of this sanctuary.

We can use this. The clarity is not punishment. It is potential energy made visible. It is available right now, in this two-week window. What you build with what you see before then?

What aspects of your relationships do you notice?
What have you been seeing with crystal clarity
that you are now ready to name?

28 Celestial Sanctuaries · Stephanie Bacquet Mathews · stephaniebacquetmathews.com

CELESTIAL SANCTUARY 18- May 2- May 14

218.573° – 231.428° Ecliptic Longitude

Zubenelgenubi is a quadruple star system, four stars bound in two pairs, moving together through space as one body. From Earth it appears as a single point of blue-white light. It sits 0.33 degrees from the ecliptic, which is as close to on the road as a star can be. The Moon passes over it. Planets pass over it. Everything traveling through this part of the sky crosses near it. In early May it rises at sunset and sets at sunrise, available the full span of darkness, crossing the entire night sky. It is hotter than our sun, shining at magnitude 2.75, naked-eye visible from anywhere on Earth with dark skies. What appears to be one is four. What appears singular is deeply, structurally multiple, bonded pairs within pairs, only revealed when you look closer than the eye alone can reach.

WHAT THIS SANCTUARY HOLDS

I am re-reading Women Who Run With Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estés. In the story of Manawee, a small dog keeps getting distracted from his task. A bone. A pie. A stranger. He is sent to learn the two names of the woman his human is trying to marry — the two names all women carry. The task requires going beneath the surface. The distraction is always food, always something that smells good, always something easier than the actual work.

Something in me jolted awake reading it.

Estés asks two questions to reach the dualistic nature of woman, the two names every woman holds. The questions are simple. The answers are not.

First QuestionWhat do you want?

Second QuestionWhat does your deeper self desire?

I was carrying a fifty-pound bag of rabbit feed across the lawn when those questions hit me. Walking it to the garbage cans, to keep the rodents out of it. Then another bag across the yard to the bus, where six kittens, three weeks old, are living with my daughter.

I could have asked for help. I could have gotten it. I didn’t ask. I just did it.

That is what Sanctuary 18 asked me to look at directly.

THE RE-EVALUATION

For a decade, Travis and I have been building toward sustainable living on this land. All this time I felt responsible for doing it all myself. And I can. I can grow the garden, raise the chickens, tend the rabbits, forage twice a day for them, walk the goats, prepare winter forage in advance. I am capable of managing all of it.

I also justify my overwhelm. I tell myself it is necessary. I frame exhaustion as evidence of commitment.

This sanctuary asked me to ask the harder question: if I lived alone, what would I be doing with my days? Would I still have meat rabbits? Would I still be scaling to thirteen does to sell meat?

The no’s arrived clearly. I was raising rabbits because it is a genuinely excellent meat choice for Zion’s kidneys. That is love. That is not distraction. But thirteen does to start going to farmers markets? I go big. I get overwhelmed. I go big and then I give up. I do not do incremental. I have never done incremental. And I am watching that pattern cost me.

But I could do this, but I have the land I have always wanted. I have the ability to build the retreat space. I know women would come. I have been consistently distracted away from it, by feeding schedules, by scale I invented, by busyness that feels like responsibility but is actually avoidance.

Manawee’s dog kept getting distracted by food. I have been getting distracted by food. By the logistics of food production as a full-time occupation. And by the way that occupation gives me something to point to, look at all I am doing, look at how necessary I am — while my actual desires wait.

THE STAR’S TEACHING

Zubenelgenubi sits on the ecliptic and refuses to be renamed. For thousands of years humans have tried to reorganize this part of the sky, the Babylonians, the Greeks, the Arabs, the IAU in 1930 making it permanent, and the star kept its claw name. But this is not just a claw, not just a scale. This slice of sky is a unique section of the sky, in energy and structure. When we see this slice as an entire piece in and of itself, we can feel directly into it. We can allow for it to help us see our own need to see past a singular aspect. To ask the deeper questions. To make sure we are living our our deepest desires.

The star is also quadruple. It looks singular. It is not. You contain more than what is visible. The question is not whether your desire exists. The question is whether you are distracted before you reach it.

Early May is when Zubenelgenubi crosses the sky all night — rising at sunset, setting at sunrise, available the full span of darkness. This is its season of maximum visibility. It asks to be seen. It is on the road that everything travels. Nothing moves through this part of the sky without passing it.

You cannot cross this threshold without meeting the question: what are you doing with your time, and is it what you desire?

What have you been distracted by?
What are you filling your time with that depletes,
exhausts, or overwhelms: without the return of pleasure and joy?

I thought at first that Sanctuary 18 was a space of depletion. I was wrong. This is a sanctuary that lets you see what has been distracting you from your desires. It shows you where you are spending your life. That is not a punishment. That is a gift.

I made a post about the namehim.io site. A place where women can name their abusers without needing to input their information or even an email. The fact is, the website actually doesn’t matter. It is the fact that women are finally speaking out. They are tired. In that same post I also shared a device that had supposedly been used in Africa that would give me a consequence if they decided to r-pe women.

I had tons of men and even more women say, but a device like this will get women killed. Women are already getting unalived. They are already being r-ped with the perpetrators having no consequences. We are already seeing men emboldened by a rapist and pedo file president.

When women have nothing else to lose, they will take action.

I am seeing women in their 40’s, 50’s, 60’s, 70’s and even in their 80’s naming their perpetrators online. Releasing the silence they some of these women have been holding onto for the past 70 years of their lives!

This is a shift that has been needing to happen.

Every law, every cultural norm, that tells women to keep silent, to know our place, to accept that this is just the way things are, and even ore oddly, to be scared to get in trouble and go to jail for speaking out, is a step towards a new society. A new way of living.

I shared that as women begin to share the names of their perpetrators, and the number of women sharing is staggering and heartbreaking, we will begin to see even more clearly why Matrifocal society is desperately needed.

The patriarchal society, that is global, is devastatingly harmful for all of those involved, not just women. It makes men into predators and then blames the victims for being a victim.

Matriarchal society is not women on the top. It is not now a feminist regime of role reversal, emasculating men and making them subservient. No this would just be an inverse of patriarchy.

Matriarchal Society is not the opposite of Patriarchy.

Patriarchy is where the men are the top of the hierarchy. Their comfort, their bodies, their rights, their thoughts, their lives are THE most important. Everything revolves around the man, specifically the white man.

Matriarchal Society is not a hierarchy at all, but interconnected circles. In the center, the most important circle, the most protected, revered and honored are the children.

Let this sink in for a moment. The children are the ones that are most precious. They are the survival of the species. They are the ones who are going to pass on the traits, and create the world for us to live in. Yet, in our current not just patriarchal but Christian Nationalist Society in the United States, they have no protection from predators, school shootings, abuse, and neglect. And yes, our children are neglected. Despite helicopter parents, more regulations at schools, “safer” care in medical systems. At the core children are not valued. In a world where they are at the center, an entire society would be there protecting them.

Next would be women, in the next concentric circle. Women are the ones who bring life into this world. This is known, but not valued. Women would not be worshiped as people say, they would be honored. Again, there is so little context to this in our modern world, because hierarchy has said, there is a top. There are people more valuable than others. This is NOT what matriarchal societies create. Everyone is valued.

The last circle is men. Not at the bottom. On the outside. They are the protectors in this society. They are protecting against external threats, environmental harm, and predators outside the circle. They are not the predators. When a massive, and I am talking more than 70% of the males in a species are predatory to their females, that species does not have long to last. It creates a strain on the entire society. The children don’t want to create more of the species, the women begin to live in chronic nervous system de-regulation.

But that is not the last circle, and in fact all of the circles are connected, interwoven, all vital.

All circles are held, grounded and supported by the Earth. Our only home. The space that feeds, clothes, and keeps us alive. Without the Earth, there is no human kind. Their are no animals, plants, water, and everything else vital to keep us alive, day in and day out.

So these circles are not more important than one another, they are interconnected and completely reliant on each other.

A circle would be all the animals, trees, soil, and water. Yet, we are also a part of this circle as human animals. Matriarchal society sees that we are all connected, think of the Avatar movies. Where the beings on the planet that the Patriarchy is trying to gain control of, is the matriarchal society. They are not depleting the resources, they live interconnected to them.

But women are waking up. 100 years ago, women woke up with the suffragettes, and the women’s movement, but it was all within the context of keeping the patriarchal society, not collapsing it.

Men think they are stronger, more powerful, and better in a patriarchal world. The issue with this, is they begin to think this is true, and think women will forever live by the rules. They think they can just make more rules to control women, but when billions of women, the world is 54% women, wake up, men will realize prisons, threats, and death, have no hold over us anymore.

I can see it already. We are tired. And we can not be controlled by ideal threats any longer. Women are waking up to our Sacred Embodied Human Animal selves. We are realizing that this is a losing battle to stay “safe” in a patriarchal society. So we will no longer be safe willingly. We have to make this change. And men are suddenly threatened, that women are taking their own protection into consideration.

I just wrote an entire chapter jumping into more of this that can be read here. https://www.patreon.com/posts/chapter-13-what-156903262?utm_medium=clipboard_copy&utm_source=copyLink&utm_campaign=postshare_creator&utm_content=join_link

Every farmer knows that if you don’t want your females bred, you manage your males. You separate them. You fence them. You take responsibility for their behavior because you understand what they will do if you don’t. No farmer blames the ewe. No farmer tells the hen to cover herself.

The same men who understand this about their livestock come inside and tell us to watch what we wear so we don’t turn on the men around us. Including our fathers.

The logic did not fail them. They applied different logic to their daughters than to their animals. Because they believe we exist to serve men, including being available to be violated by them, and that managing that violation is our job, not theirs.

Before we were old enough to understand what we were being protected from, we were told to protect men from ourselves.

That is not a warning. That is an installation.

It tells us that male desire is an uncontrollable force of nature, like weather. That we are the variable. That we are what can be adjusted, what must be managed.

So when something happens to our bodies that we did not choose, we turn the question inward. What did I do? What did I wear? What did I signal?

We were never given the other question. Why did he believe he was entitled to my body?

I was 18. I said no. I covered myself. He pulled my hands away and forced himself on top of me. And I froze. I could feel his whole body on top of me. I had a vision of kicking my legs and him flying into the wall. That didn’t happen. My body had been taught that my purity was my only value. When that was taken, my nervous system had nowhere to go.

The freeze response is real. It is your body making a calculation under threat. But the conditioning we were raised inside made that freeze permanent in a different way. It silenced us after. It told us the story of what happened was ours to carry, ours to be ashamed of, ours to manage into invisibility.

Women in their 70s and 80s are writing in public comment sections for the first time in their lives. Something happened to them. They never told anyone. Not because they forgot. Because they were taught that telling was the second violation.

I know what it is to sit across from the man who raped you and feed his family.

Fifteen years after it happened to me, I met him at a hot spring in Nevada. He had a wife. Two sons. I was there with my own husband and children. His name was Jessie. His grandfather lived in Redding, California.

I invited them onto our bus. I shared food with them. I asked questions carefully, the way you do when you need to be certain, when part of you is still hoping you are wrong. I wasn’t wrong.

I didn’t plunge a knife through him. I just sat there and stared at the man who had held my body down on a friend’s couch when I was 18 years old.

His wife is still on my Facebook.

She does not know. She may never know. And she is married to a man who decided that my no meant nothing.

This is what we carry. Not just what was done to us. But the years after. The running into them. The watching them build lives. The knowing that they moved forward while we learned to freeze, to silence, to manage ourselves smaller so it would never happen again.

Women are not reacting emotionally right now. We are doing math.

81 million men visited a website to watch women who did not consent to being filmed, did not consent to being drugged, did not consent to being watched by strangers paying to see them violated.

We watched nothing happen to billionaires who raped and murdered children. We lost rights over our own bodies. And we are watching little girls get told to watch what they wear so they don’t turn on the men in their own homes. I am hearing from friends that their husbands are not who they thought they were.

We are done.

My children are learning ju-jitsu. They are building muscle memory so that if someone does something to their body they don’t want, they do not freeze. I am not teaching my daughter to manage theirself so men stay comfortable. I am teaching my children that their bodies are theirs. That is not something I was given. I am giving it to them anyway.

The indoctrination said our purity, as girls, was our only value.

We are saying our bodies were always ours.

That is not a radical statement. It is a correction that is long overdue. And we are not waiting for permission to make it.

I have been a forager for over 13 years, but I have only gardened 6 times. I kept feeling like I failed, year after year, unable to produce enough food to create a stocked pantry.

The two biggest aspects of failure, were not having soil, I have grown the soil on the property from rock filled clay, to composted wood shavings filled with rabbit manure and worms.

And the lack of water. We have our garden and home on the top of the hill, away from the flood plain and neighbors, which means we completely rely on the rain for our water. And for several years now, we end up having droughts for a portion of the summer that spans for weeks to up to two months! This is devastating when I have my garden thriving and then am unable to water, and then we go into drought conditions.

I feel like I finally get it though. I have to mulch my garden extensively in order to help retain the water in the soil, and to not have to water so much. And now that I have soil, I can grow more than just squash, which love fresh wood chips.

In fact, I have watermelon coming up this year that I planted last year, simply because the mulch has turned to soil, allowing it to sprout!

Our property is clay and rock filled ground, it seems to grow rocks rather than soil, and it has taken years to actually create soil that I can trowel through, that is deeper than a few inches.

But I will tell you, seeing radishes, beans, peas, mustard sprouts, corn, potatoes, watermelon, onions, broccoli, and various flowers coming up by just being placed into the soil, feels like pure magic.

I also tried seed snails this year. This is done by taking rolled paper, laying it out, filling it with soil, then rolling them up. This is such a great way to start seeds with minimal space. I have 3 containers of them, that I take out to the fenced in garden each morning to get sun, then bring in at night. I have tomatoes, peppers of all kinds, marigolds, artichokes, thyme, cauliflower, lavender, basil, parsley, with other things that haven’t yet sprouted.

And the fully fenced in yard is another aspect. I had opossums, rabbits, cats, and chickens all digging up my garden faster than I could have it planted. We invested in fencing, and chicken wire, to help keep the animals out, so that I could actually have a chance at growing decent food for my family this year.

So here is what finally clicked for me, though. Gardening is not putting seeds in the ground one time. I used to chaos garden, putting my seeds all in the soil at once, hoping they would come up at some point. But that is not how real, successful, growing food steadily happens!

It requires putting seeds in the ground, every 2-3 weeks, the entire spring, summer and fall!! This has been mind blowing, but it is proving to be working. Planting in either seed snails or in the soil, the things that don’t mind the cold air. Then working your way to more warm loving things such as peppers and tomatoes, week by week. I have been putting seeds in the ground for the past 2 months, and I am seeing the progress of doing this. My mustard greens are ready. My peas are climbing. The potatoes I left in the soil last fall, are sprouting, along with corn that overwintered.

I have flowers, like ironweed, dahlias, and coneflowers returning. I just planted all of my wildflower and butterfly attracting seeds, as well as my echinaceas. Pumpkins that I threw out for the goats and chickens, seeds that didn’t get eaten are finding their way through the soil, in various spaces, in the goat pen, a raised bed, and out in the lawn. I love seeing the abundance of nature being prolific, and creating new life all on their own.

Our woods are naturally filled with mulberry, wild plum, persimmon, black raspberries, blackberries, dew berries, wild blueberries, hazelnuts and tons of other medicinal trees.

But back to gardening. Gardening takes a type of patience, for allowing. Allowing the warmth of the soil to match up with the seed. Allowing the seed the time it needs to sprout. It requires patience for mulch to decompose into nutrient dense soil. And gardening without spending money, requires extra patience.

Last year, my word of the year was “Garden.” I wanted my life to be a garden, filled with abundance, friends, community, and nutrition. And I can see how that year has created a palpable shift in my awareness with this years garden. It is like a light bulb finally turned on, and I can see how a garden works. I can see how the placement, the timing, the flow of water run off, the fencing, the plants around the permitter, the flowers, the sun, the north and south side, all play together to create a mosaic or piece of art with living plants. And it is truly a masterpiece as it blooms and opens.

I am seeing open spaces in my garden and thinking about the fast growers, such as carrots, radishes, lettuces, will be there for the next month or two, and what will be there in the fall, that is a slower grower. I can see it all playing out in my head like a movie watching them grow and sprout.

But then again I have dreamed of a full garden before, but had little actual produce. But this was a grow once and hope they make it. Just like life, a garden takes putting seeds in the ground consistently and constantly.

If a zucchini plant gets eaten by those squash bugs, start it over immediately. If your cabbage gets eaten, grow another one immediately. I can settle into failure mode, and get down on myself as to why things aren’t working, but that doesn’t need to be the case. Who cares if a plant dies, try again! Who cares if something does’t work out, try again! We put so much effort on the way we think things will work out, that often times we forget we can just try again. Over and over and over again!

I feel like this is what human animals have done for hundreds of thousands of years. We just simply tried and tried again, over and over again. From turning mustard into broccoli, cauliflower, Brussel sprouts, and cabbage. Nightshades into potatoes, tomatoes and eggplant. We humans are capable of so much, but it usually doesn’t happen in a single generation. The work we do is built upon, by seven or more generations. It takes time and patience to create new life.

But unfortunately, we are currently in a destructive time of our existence. One where individuals have the ability to create drastic change that affects billions of humans.

And when I think about the control that some of the individuals have over the pollution, air quality, data centers, I think about what it is that I can do?

I can grow a garden. I can learn. I can fail. And I can try agin.

An AI image of Trump as Jesus. Is that the line? I know that the line has come for many trump followers who have left MAGA. But now the Christian Nationalists are saying that Trump is the Anti-Christ. Many people who are not religious, or who have deconstructed from the church have been saying this for 10 years. Amazing that his followers are just seeing it.

Him unaliving, eating, and graping children wasn’t upsetting though. Him depicting himself as Jesus, in the red and white robes. A fake picture was the line. A fake picture was the breaking point. This feels almost surreal, because they still don’t care about all the allegations, pay offs, and proof of what he has done.

I want to sit with that for a moment, because it tells us something important about how belief actually works. It was never about facts. It was never about evidence. It was about which symbolic violation finally broke the frame they were living inside. And an image of their president dressed as their savior broke something in the architecture of their faith that nothing material ever could.

Here is where it gets stranger.

The Christian Nationalists who have turned on him are not turning away. They are now saying he is the Anti-Christ. And in their theology, that is not a reason to remove him. The Anti-Christ is necessary. Evil is required to trigger the return. So they disapprove of him now. They see him as a vessel of darkness. And they are still not moving to stop him, because in their framework, stopping him would be interrupting the plan. Not the real man that was born in Palestine as a Jew, not a Zionist. But Jesus as a white man floating down from the clouds is what they have in their imagination, while they are murdering all the Palestinian men, who if Jesus had returned, is in a pit filled with thousands of others, covered in lime, that were genocided by Netanyahu.

I have family I love who are inside this. Not at arm’s length. In my actual life, in ongoing relationship, people I sit with and talk to, who are also actively trying to convert me so that their end times can happen. That is the reality I am navigating. Watching people I love be pumped full of millions of dollars worth of Facebook propaganda, targeted, refined, algorithmically perfected to reach exactly them, and believing that what they are receiving is revelation.

They are being catfished by billionaires who need the end times narrative to keep people passive while the restructuring happens.

I have been watching civilizational collapse patterns for fifteen years. This is what it looks like up close. Not a dramatic single moment. Cards coming loose, one at a time, while the people holding the deck keep reshuffling.

Now Melania, bringing the Epstein files back up, she was definitely tying to get ahead of a long time friend, who supposedly her ex-husband had her deported to Brazil. She was here for decades, but he wanted control over his 16 year old son. So he called ICE and a favor in to his influential wealthy friends, and got her deported. This man is also the one who introduced Trump to Melania. He is a modeling agent or a pimp to some.

The woman’s name is Amanda Ungaro.

She has nothing left to lose.

She is now saying she will share everything. She was in Melania and Trumps inner circle. She knows the connections they had with Epstein.

Why does this all matter?

The threads are being pulled. The whole thing is unraveling.

Meanwhile, Iran now has more control over the Strait of Hormuz, more nuclear positioning, fewer sanctions, and more consolidated regional alliances than it had two months ago.

Everything the current administration has touched has inverted. Every pressure point has released in the opposite direction. Every deal has cost more than it gained. We are watching a governing strategy built entirely on dominance discover, repeatedly, that dominance applied without intelligence does not produce submission. It produces realignment.

Showing a door dash grandma, who isn’t paying tax on tips, but has to pay medical bills and continue to work past retirement, to pay them, is actually ridiculous to other countries. Baffled. The insurance companies control the pharmaceutical industry that controls the doctors that controls the trials. This is not a conspiracy. This is a documented structure. A sick care system, not a health care system, because sick people are an economy. Healthy people are not.

I don’t want America healthcare to be universal, because we live in a sick care system. That is just capitalist Healthcare, continuing to make insurance CEO’s and the health care billions of dollars, while people continue to get more chronically sick.

And yes, I am all over the place, but it is all connected.

Our food is poison. Our vaccines are produced inside the same captured system. Our medicine is designed around chronic disease management, not healing, because healing ends the revenue stream. These are not fringe positions. The data is there for anyone willing to read it.

The MAHA movement found the women who already knew this. Midwives, herbalists, home birthers, free-spirited women who had already done the work of stepping outside the system. Women with real knowledge and real grievances. And it used their legitimate understanding as a door. Opening into a room that walked them directly into a political party that serves the pharmaceutical companies, the agricultural lobbies, and the food manufacturers they thought they were walking away from. The facade was built specifically for them, using language they recognized, because the people building it knew exactly who they were recruiting.

The food pyramid has been upside down since it was designed to serve agricultural lobbying interests. Grains at the base. Fruits and vegetables as an afterthought. We are Sacred Embodied Human Animals. We grazed. We moved through landscapes eating what was there, what was available, what was in season. Greens in the spring because that is what springs. You cannot eat large amounts of meat without protein poisoning. Your liver and your heart will tell you. We spent hundreds of thousands of years eating what was actually available in actual time, and we have spent a few generations pretending that protein shakes and manufactured macros are nutrition.

Eat what is growing right now. That is not a diet. That is a relationship.

All of this is connected.

Property is not more important than human life.

That sentence should not need to be said. And yet we have watched warehouses full of property treated as a crime scene while the crime of the warehouses themselves goes unexamined. Billionaire propaganda has been so effective, so deep in the water supply, that people will defend the right to property and corporations over the right to breathe, to be housed, to exist outside of debt.

People are starting to wake up to the fact that we are in a debt slave system. If we aren’t paid enough we rely on debt. It used to just be being in debt for 15 years for a house. 3 years for a car. But now they are talking about 50 year house loans. People have 7 year car loans. They pay school loans for 30 years. These are lifetimes of debt that keep people enslaved in working until they die.

Their is another way.

Quit your job. Sell everything. Live in connection with nature. Yes, it is extreme. And it will completely rewire your brain.

If you don’t want to do that, stop complaining. Stop asking when you get to quit your job. The answer is: whenever you decide to stop being a slave to a system that will take your life, your passion, your joy, your health, and leave you empty.

Things are shifting quickly.

Grow a garden. Plant radishes, they grow quickly and are ready to eat in a month. Grow lettuce, it is about the same. Peas are quick and satisfying. Meet your neighbors. See if you can grow a community garden in an empty lot on your block.

Learn what is edible on your land. If you want to go further, go further. Sell the things that are costing you more than they are giving you. Get closer to the ground. It will rewire your brain in ways that nothing else will, because you will remember, in your body, that you are an animal in relationship with the earth, and that relationship is not optional. It was never optional. We just forgot.

Think about all the ways you are dependent on the systems at play. Could you live for a week if the electricity went out? Could you live for a month if there were no grocery stores getting deliveries? Could you still commute to work getting the same amount of money if gas went up to $10 a gallon, and afford your cost of living? Are you able to afford your cost of living at the moment?

There is so much here, and I know it doesn’t seem relevant but it is all connected. We are waking up collectively, but some people will uphold the very system that enslaves them until they die.

So will the house of cards fall?

I have been sitting with this question for fifteen years.

Here is what I know. The cards come loose. They have been coming loose. Each one reveals something that should have been the line and wasn’t. Each one reshuffles into a new configuration that protects the people at the top. Billionaires do not fall the way the rest of us fall. They restructure.

What I do not know is whether enough people will wake up before the data centers cover the last of the arable land. Before the aquifers are gone. Before the air is unbreathable in the places where food used to grow.

What I hold onto is this: every single tradition that humans have ever built: every religion, every cosmology, every ritual calendar.  Was a humans attempt to organize what the body already knew. The body knows we are animals. The body knows we need soil and season and each other. The body knows what a fifty year mortgage costs. The body knows when it is being catfished.

We are waking up. Some people will uphold the system that enslaves them until they die, because that is what they know and the knowing is a kind of comfort. But some people are remembering.

The question is whether we remember in time.

That question is not rhetorical. I am asking it for real. And I am asking it because the answer is not certain, and I think we need to stop pretending that it is.

The whole world watched a clock tick all day, only for the deadline to be postponed two more weeks.

Notice what just happened in your body when you read that. The exhale that isn’t quite an exhale. The relief that doesn’t feel like relief. That is not accidental.

This is what abusers do. This is what cults do. This is what empire has always done to the people living inside it. Hold the body at the threshold of threat long enough and it stops being able to discern. Stops being able to organize. Stops trusting its own perception. Another deadline. Another postponement. Maybe it’s all theater. Maybe you were overreacting. That doubt is the point. A nervous system held in chronic threat state is a nervous system that cannot revolt.

And it doesn’t matter who you voted for anymore. Because nothing has been done to stop what Trump is doing. We are all guilty of this monstrosity. We are all responsible. We compared Trump to Hitler, and our own family and friends didn’t listen. They couldn’t be bothered or they listened to his lies. And now we all have to pay for what is being done.

People wonder why people cut family members out of their lives. Kamala shared that this exact thing was going to happen. Bashar said Trump would start world war 3. And now the whole world was anticipating 8pm eastern on April 7, to see what will happen. If a red button will be pushed.

Trump posted this morning that “a whole civilization will die tonight, never to be brought back again” if a deal isn’t reached by his 8 p.m. deadline to reopen the Strait of Hormuz. NPR He has been threatening to destroy bridges, power plants, and water treatment facilities. Even before that deadline, US forces struck Kharg Island, Iran’s key oil export hub, and dozens of military targets overnight. NBC News

Iran called on “all young people” to form human chains around power plants in case of strikes. MS NOW Those people standing in human chains are real civilians trying to shield their infrastructure with their bodies. That is not metaphor. That is what desperation looks like when a government has already been partially destroyed and the next wave could take the lights off for an entire country.

The war has already caused an estimated 7.5 million barrels per day of crude oil to be shut in across Saudi Arabia, Kuwait, the UAE, Qatar, and Bahrain. Dubai Humanitarian, the largest aid hub in the world,  has seen the number of countries it can supply drop from 25 in January to just nine in March. CNN

I talk a lot about civilizations collapsing because I have seen this coming for the past 15 years. I purposely moved off grid 8 years ago. Quit everything because I knew it would take time. And I am seeing this happen. Right in front of my eyes.

This is what the Sacred Embodied Human Animal has always known. Not as prophecy for its own sake. As body knowledge. As the thing that lives below ideology and above argument. Empire is not the natural state of human life. Control through annihilation is not the natural state of human life. The body knows this. It has always known this. Every tradition that ever existed was layered on top of something far older, something that remembers what it means to be an animal on a planet, accountable to the living world, not to flags or deadlines or men with red buttons.

Every empire that has ever existed has ended. After every ending, people were still growing food. Still gathering. Still holding their children. Still watching the stars.

Grieve tonight. Feel the full weight of what this is.

Allow for the rage, the disappointment, the tears, the sadness, the knowing that nothing will ever be the same. This is time for processing. Breathe. Stay in your body. Allow these emotions to move through you, so they don’t become stuck.