If you have women in your life, that are choosing patriarchy, I hope this article can help create some better understanding of their behavior right now.
I keep finding myself surprised and honestly troubled by the number of women who continue to support Trump. Many of them are deeply religious, self-identifying as Christian, but what strikes me more is a pattern I’ve noticed: these women often love their narcissistic men. They want undocumented immigrants gone. They want someone, anyone, to make the world feel safe for them, even if that means destroying it for everyone else’s comfort.
The women I know personally who support Trump share common traits: they tend to be controlling, highly judgmental, and disconnected from their feminine energy. They’ve leaned so far into toxic masculinity that they’ve lost touch with nurturing, empathy, and intuition, and beneath all of it, they’re desperately seeking love and validation.
Women perpetuate the patriarchy just as men do, though often in different ways. Men tend to perpetuate it through physical violence, sexual assault, and the normalization of exploitation through media like pornography. Women who uphold the patriarchy do so differently, through invalidation, willful ignorance, judgment, snobbery, and contempt.
Pam Bondi’s congressional hearing was a perfect example. When survivors in the room raised their hands, she looked away. By refusing to acknowledge them, she rendered them invisible. This is the role some women play within patriarchal systems: they ignore the harm being done, including to themselves, and redirect blame elsewhere. They know they aren’t safe in a patriarchy, yet they blame immigrants rather than the system harming them.
In their personal relationships, many of these women are with men they know, on some level, are deeply problematic. Yet they stay, until they are so worn down financially, physically through abuse or stress-related illness especially autoimmune conditions, mentally, or emotionally, that leaving feels impossible. These women often seek control in the relationship but simultaneously allow themselves to be gaslit, confused, and exploited. Both people are contributing to the dysfunction. It becomes a victim-narcissist cycle, constantly flipping back and forth.
So what does this have to do with Trump? He is a masterful gaslighter and manipulator. He says what people want to hear, consistently denies wrongdoing, breaks laws while projecting strength and righteousness, and has crafted a powerful public image that bears little resemblance to reality. People who see through Trump are often baffled, not just by him, but by the fact that so many still believe him. It mirrors exactly what outsiders feel watching someone stay in a narcissistic relationship. The pattern is visible to everyone except the person inside it.
The Root: Patriarchy as a Trauma System
Most people think of patriarchy as simply men having power over women, but it runs much deeper than that. Patriarchy is a trauma organization system, a hierarchy built on disconnection from the body, from emotion, from the Earth, and from the feminine principle itself. It doesn’t just oppress women. It distorts everyone inside it, men and women alike, teaching all of us to abandon our instincts, numb our feelings, and seek safety through control rather than connection.
This is why women can be some of its most loyal enforcers. When you’ve been conditioned to survive within a system, you defend the system. It feels like safety, even when it’s a cage.
The Body Knows: Sacred Embodiment
One of the most important teachings here is that the body holds the truth that the mind has been trained to deny. Autoimmune disease, chronic pain, anxiety, numbness, these are not random. They are the body screaming what the conditioned mind refuses to say: this is not okay. I am not safe. I have abandoned myself.
Women in narcissistic relationships, and women supporting narcissistic leaders, are often living in a state of chronic nervous system dysregulation, stuck in fawn or freeze responses. They have learned that their survival depends on managing, appeasing, and controlling their environment rather than trusting themselves.
This is not weakness. This is a deeply intelligent survival adaptation to an unsafe world. But it is also a wound that needs tending.
The Hierarchy Wound
Hierarchy, the belief that some lives matter more than others, is the operating system of patriarchy. It requires someone to be on the bottom. And here is the painful irony: people who feel most threatened by the other, immigrants, the poor, the different, are usually people who have internalized their own unworthiness and are desperately trying to stay above someone, anyone, on the ladder.
Blaming immigrants isn’t really about immigrants. It’s about people who have never been given permission to feel safe in their own bodies, in their own lives, without someone beneath them to compare themselves to.
What Reclaiming the Feminine Actually Means
The feminine principle, in all people regardless of gender, is not weakness. It is receptivity, intuition, cyclical wisdom, the capacity to feel without being destroyed by feeling, and deep attunement to life. Patriarchy has pathologized all of these qualities.
Reclaiming the feminine is not about being soft or passive. It’s about trusting the body’s intelligence. It’s about feeling grief, rage, and tenderness without needing to shut them down or project them outward. It’s about recognizing that the Earth herself operates on feminine principles, cycles, interdependence, regeneration, and that our disconnection from Her is the same disconnection that allows us to vote for leaders who poison the water and cage children.
What Are Narcissistic Behaviors?
Narcissistic Personality Disorder exists on a spectrum, but common behaviors include manipulation and control through gaslighting, love bombing followed by withdrawal, and using guilt or fear to dominate others. There is a consistent lack of empathy, an inability or unwillingness to recognize or care about other people’s feelings and needs. Grandiosity shows up as an inflated sense of self-importance, entitlement, and a constant need for admiration. Denial and deflection mean never taking responsibility, blaming others, and rewriting history to protect their image. Exploitation involves using relationships for personal gain without genuine reciprocity. Rage and punishment appear as disproportionate anger or cold withdrawal when challenged or criticized. And finally, idealization and devaluation, placing people on a pedestal and then tearing them down, in repeating cycles.
The Teachable Moment
The real lesson here isn’t about Trump, or even narcissism. It’s about what happens to human animals when they are severed from their instincts, their bodies, their communities, and the natural world. We become easy to manipulate. We become desperate for a strong figure to tell us we are safe. We turn on each other instead of the system.
Healing begins not with political arguments but with embodiment, coming back into the body, feeling what is real, and remembering that we are, at our core, animals who belong to this Earth. That remembering is the most radical and revolutionary act available to us right now.
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